We all have aspects of our personality and our life that we know could do with some improvement but accessing ways to really improve our life may require us to step outside of our comfort zone and here’s where we can hit up with resistance…

many of us are afraid of the possibility there might be some BIG trauma buried in our past We’re terrified if we “go there” probing into our earlier years, we’ll uncover something so awful and damaging…

so we prefer to avoid this option and just not look back!

And seriously, this makes perfect sense – especially if life is going along pretty well right now!

This strategy of both looking and moving forwards is also reinforced by a general belief that therapy (and dealing with our past), is something you do when things are bad; really bad.

So why fix what ain’t really broken, right?

Well… what if this protective, avoidant approach to being open to our past story is actually unwittingly sabotaging our best life?

what if we reframed our association of trauma being “really bad things that happened to us” to “little things that overwhelmed us and gave us some protective strategies – even in warm, loving and typical childhoods”?

Does looking back from that perspective feel less threatening?

Would you be more open to exploring your story if you realised that what shaped you was not your worst nightmares, but instead it was your caregivers best efforts to care for you – and unfortunately, their best efforts left you feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable; thus activating your survival mechanisms?

This is not horrific, terrifying trauma – but it is still trauma.

It is the developmental trauma I wrote about in previous posts.

It’s been much less acknowledged and understood over the years, but it still very much shapes how we react, love, relate and see the world

It still very much limits us and is a huge part of how and why we screw up parts of our life now

If there are aspects of your life that you know could improve (your relationships, finances, confidence, boundaries, career or more), then maybe it’s time to take that gentle peek into some of your story and see what beliefs are sitting there

please reach out for a few sessions with me to literally change you life for the better in so many ways